Hearing the Child's Voice: Child-Centered Approaches to Family Mediation

Children do not have a vote in their parents' separation, divorce, or post-divorce conflicts, yet they often experience its consequences most profoundly. While they may not always have the words to express their feelings, children are constantly communicating their needs through their words, behaviors, emotions, and experiences. How can mediators help parents hear the voice of their child without placing them in the middle of adult conflict?



This interactive presentation explores practical, child-centered approaches that help mediators guide parents toward decisions that promote their children's emotional well-being during times of family transition. Participants will examine the important distinction between giving children a voice and giving children a choice, recognizing that children deserve to be heard without being asked to carry the burden of adult decisions.

Through facilitated discussion, and practical mediation strategies, participants will learn how to identify the many ways children communicate their experiences and how thoughtful, child-centered questions can help parents shift from positional thinking to understanding what their child may need most from them. The session will offer immediately applicable tools that mediators can incorporate into conversations about parenting, transitions between homes, and co-parenting relationships.

Participants will leave with a deeper understanding of how to help parents keep their children in the center—not in the middle—of their decision-making. By creating space for children's experiences to be acknowledged and honored, mediators can support healthier family outcomes and more durable parenting agreements while preserving every child's right to simply be a child. "Children deserve to be heard without being asked to carry the burden of adult decisions."

About Connie Fraser

Connie Fraser is a professional mediator, Collaborative Law facilitator, and Co-Parenting Specialist who believes children deserve to be seen, heard, and thoughtfully considered in decisions that shape their lives—without being asked to carry the weight of adult conflict or responsibility for adult decisions. As founder of Connie Fraser Mediation, LLC, she works with families navigating separation, divorce, parenting, and post-divorce challenges, always guided by a simple principle: keep children in the center, not in the middle.

Connie serves as Co-Vice President of the Board of Directors and Continuing Education Chair for the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation. Drawing on decades of experience working with people, communication, conflict, and family dynamics, along with specialized training in co-parenting and child-centered practices, Connie is passionate about helping mediators create thoughtful, ethical pathways for honoring children’s experiences and perspectives while supporting parents in making informed, durable decisions for their families.